Human Toy
by gungnirburst
Summary: Kain takes an unexpected interest when Golbez enacts his new plan to keep Cecil out of the way of his conquest for the Crystals. Retaliation for past wrongs is finally at hand. [AR. Kain/Cecil.]
1. Human Toy Part 1

**Notes**: slash, alternate universe - canon divergence, angst, violence, torture, sadism, mind controlled character, major character death, Golbez is a warning in and of himself.

* * *

Golbez was frustrated; Kain could tell by the way the man clad in black armor paced about silently, completely ignoring the dragoon's presence in the room. Kain watched his current lord mutely from his place against the unpainted wall. He did not dare attempt to speak up independently while Golbez was quietly seething, lest he be punished out of spite. One could only imagine what true horrors someone like Golbez was capable of when provoked to a point of no return.

The clinking of metal armor settled into a steady rhythm, the path his master was marching being repeated over and over again on the wooden floor. The walk was balanced and soft, but underneath the calm façade was a dangerous man livid about his most recent shortcoming.

They had succeeded in claiming Troia's Earth Crystal from Cecil, in accordance to the agreement made shortly after the Enterprise rose from Baron, but what took place at the Tower of Zot left Golbez unnerved for a time, for reasons Kain was unaware of. He had seemingly recovered now and was clearly peeved at Cecil's constant interference in his plan. However slightly helpful he may have been at times, Cecil would eventually have to be disposed of if they were to continue carrying out Golbez's master plot.

Efficacy was needed from the dragoon in order to please his commander. Failure was not a suitable alternative for what they had in mind for the world.

Kain knew that Golbez's present anger was partially his fault, though his lord never indicated it to be true. If he had killed Cecil like he intended to do back in Fabul, things wouldn't have gone in this direction at all. They would have had practically no resistance with the dark knight turned paladin out of the way, but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

His right fist clenched up at his side. Remembering his unpleasant failure at his attempted and otherwise blatant act of malice left a bad taste in his mouth that badly needed to be washed out, particularly with the death of the one he once called friend. Kain had to defeat Cecil no matter what, to show that he was indeed the superior one, to prove that he was the strongest.

Kain could make out the sounds of engines running in the lower levels of airship they were currently on, an airship previously belonging to the Red Wings of Baron. Baron was a far off memory to him now, like being carried off by the wind they now rode on so easily. The relationships he had formed, his command over the Dragoons, the way his life previously was—all of it held little weight in his thoughts anymore.

Not even the sturdy wooden wall against his back—a physical symbol of Cid's superb craftsmanship—made him reminisce on who he once was or where he came from at this point. All that mattered to him now was properly serving Golbez, and if that meant casting aside everything he once held dear, then so be it. If everything went as planned, they would probably not survive long enough for him to even want forgiveness.

His former companions had no doubt felt as though they had been betrayed, and though he was conscious of the things around him, his will was not necessarily his to control as it should have been. Golbez had a very deep-seated hold over his mentality, as well as his actions if need be. He had followed his master's orders up to now with not a moment's hesitation so there was no reason to physically force him to do anything via mind control.

The dragoon could only imagine what it would feel like to have absolutely no control over his own body, to be unable to direct himself accordingly.

"Kain."

Kain flinched at little at being spoken to suddenly. It had been hours since Golbez had said a single word to him, and he was honestly surprised by the sudden verbal recognition. But, always being the ever-vigilant servant, he was to reply accordingly when addressed by that deep sinister voice, one that would accept nothing less than his total obedience and reverence.

"Yes, my lord?"

"I have a task for you."

.:.

The night sky shown through the window in Cecil's bedchamber, the two full moons lighting up the small space and the paladin sitting quietly on his bed. He needed his rest for their upcoming venture, but as it were, he found himself unable to sleep for the time being. Tomorrow, they would leave Baron Castle and begin their search for Golbez, though they had not a single clue of the man's whereabouts, and the quest would certainly be most difficult for them. But now was not the time to start losing hope when all seemed lost. Their world was still at great risk, and Kain still needed to be saved from the clutches of someone so wicked and sinister.

While it was true that Kain had betrayed them, Cecil was more than willing to forgive if they could manage to just free the dragoon.

Suddenly feeling a presence in the room, Cecil stood up, holy blade at the ready. Clear blue eyes scanned the area near the enterance, finding not a trace of anyone else being in his bedroom. Walking forward with cautious steps, he continued to hunt for the one that had invaded his space. A small sound echoed behind him, and he turned his head to find Kain standing up straight, spear in hand and motionless.

"Kain, what are you—"

The blunted end of the spear came down hard at the back of Cecil's neck, effectively knocking him out. The white knight fell to the wooden floor with a loud thud, sword having dropped out of his hand before he descended.

Cecil looked extremely pathetic, his unmoving form subconsciously curled up into a self-defensive ball, belying how powerful he truly was. Kain continued to look down quietly at his former best friend, nothing resembling any type of emotion crossing onto his face from behind his helmet. Hidden blue eyes narrowed slightly as they continued to stare at the unconscious white knight. Having previously fought with him in the past, gazing down at Cecil seemingly defeated now brought a spark loathing into his being.

Though he disliked using such underhanded tactics in order to take Cecil down, it was all he had at his immediate disposal. Nevertheless, seeing this man—who he had tried so hard to overcome before—in such a state of weakness made him feel beyond disgusted. Cecil was a strong individual, and although he had yet to know exactly why his master wished him to discreetly capture the paladin, he felt as though he had not truly won in their rivalry. Choosing to not think on it any more, Kain picked the limp body and placed Cecil over his shoulder, ready to leave the castle and inform Golbez of his success.

The weight of the form on his shoulder felt like nothing compared to the burden he had been carrying around for far too long. This time around, Cecil was going to pay dearly no matter what.

.:.

"I have accomplished what you requested of me, my lord," Kain said, bowing slightly as he did so.

Golbez appeared like a menacing king in his throne-like chair, an eerily quiet stillness passing between them. The man's form virtually screamed power and strength—the very things that Kain had struggled so hard to attain, and were so easily possessed by his commander, like it was as simple as breathing. Golbez was truly a force to be reckoned with for anyone who would dare confront him.

The epitome of evil sat before him, and he could only be subservient to the sinful man.

Their airship was sky bound once more, and Cecil was being detained in another room as they were speaking. Kain was still very much curious as to what his master had in mind for the paladin. They were originally supposed to leave for the Underworld immediately, but Golbez had delayed the endeavor for the time being. And his reasoning behind the abrupt postponement clearly concerned Cecil in some manner.

"Very good, Kain," Golbez replied in a monotone fashion.

"Might I ask the reasoning behind this capture?"

Golbez seemed to think for a moment before answering, "In order for us to accomplish our goal of seizing the Crystals, our obstacles most be taken care of. Is that not so?"

Kain nodded in agreement. "Yes, my lord."

"And, at the moment, Cecil is the very obstacle that stands in our way. He must be dealt with now if we are to proceed with our plans."

Kain had a feeling about where Golbez's explanation was going, and he had no reason to argue against simply murdering their hindrance. But what the forebodingly ominous man said next was not exactly what he had been expecting.

"I leave him in your charge, Kain. You are to break him."

Kain remained immobile. "Break him, my lord?"

The command was rather broad to say the least, though not one he could not carry out if it meant he could face Cecil in combat at any given time. He just had to prove that he was in fact stronger than the paladin, his pride as a dragoon depended on his victory. But truthfully, defeating his former friend under these terms was not a very appealing outcome. Nevertheless, once the order was given, Kain would carry it out to the very last detail.

"As in torture."

Kain's eyes widened just barely behind his helmet. "Torture? But wouldn't merely slaying him now resolve our problems?"

"In due time. But he should be punished for challenging me. Do you not agree?"

Kain nodded once more. "I understand."

The dragoon turned to leave, hand already grasping the doorknob, but not before Golbez gave one final command to his dedicated slave.

"Leave him without hope, Kain."

.:.

Kain didn't understand what was going on anymore. He was starting to feel almost reluctant about going into Cecil's cell just to deliver more physical torture. It was his assigned task, and he couldn't go back on it now.

And what made it even worse was that Cecil wasn't becoming weaker or breaking at all. At first, he had cried out when pain had been inflicted upon him, the echoing screams now trapped in Kain's head, repeating themselves over and over again. But, as time went on, he barely made a sound, his eyes defiant and calm. Only when he was surprised did a noise slip from his mouth. Cecil had strained greatly to make it seem like he wasn't hurting in some way, and Kain had seen this clearly. The paladin's bare skin held the scars of his torture, cuts, slashes, stab wounds, and burns littering the flesh. The paleness of his body looked nothing like it once did when this had all begun.

Mostly everything was visible, Cecil being left in nothing but a flimsy cloth around his waist. Nonetheless, he was still as intact as ever, the subject of his injuries and slightly thinned figure aside.

But that was not the problem. Kain was faltering in his allotted duty, and that alone was enough to make him irate.

Cecil had caused an impact within him again, this one being far worse than the others, were his master to ever find out. Kain didn't comprehend why this was happening to him, something like what he was feeling not being an emotion he'd ever thought he would feel for Cecil.

Bitterness flooded him once again, and he went for the containment cell housing his former best friend. He very much felt like blowing off some steam.

.:.

A fist collided with the side of Cecil's face once more, pushing his bound body back slightly. The chains dug painfully into his wrists, the metal item connecting to the ceiling above and suspending him several inches from the ground. Still being without his protective armor, the chill of the room was seeping into his skin and collecting in his bones. The treatment he was receiving now was more akin to a beating than torture, the sudden change in tactics very unnerving to Cecil.

"What manner of craft makes you even more superior?"

Kain had been asking questions like that for nearly an hour now, resentment and antagonism leaking into every uttered word. He questioned and stated things that were unrelated to their current situation, but were more along the lines of angry accusations and demands. Cecil, however, was unable to answer any of it, partly because he had been gagged and the other half being that he was aware of how to respond.

It almost seemed like Kain was venting out his anger on him instead of just making him suffer. The method had changed, but the pain was no different.

Kain ceased his aggression, fisted hands clenched tightly at his sides and breath slightly ragged. The dragoon stared at the other man with narrowed eyes, feeling extremely tired all of a sudden. He could have kept up his thrashing if he wanted to, being in perfect physical shape, but his mental state wouldn't allow it anymore. The weight that had been accumulating in his chest pushed down even harder, and he couldn't handle the pressure anymore.

Head downcast, Kain uttered, "I can't abide you… You render me a weak and pitiful creature…"

His words came out forlorn and pained, and he felt ashamed at his own fragility. Kain was a strong man, trained heavily in the ways of the dragoon and emotionally sound with himself. And yet, this one man made him feel like he could never hope to be up to par, that he could never aspire to be as glorious and pure. He would forever reach up only to fall further down into his dark hole, jealousy and hopeless want being his only company in the fissure that was gradually becoming smaller and smaller with each passing day.

"How could you bring this upon me?" Kain demanded, pushing Cecil against the brick wall and holding him at arm's length, his fingers gripping powerfully into pastel shoulders.

A muffled noise of pain sounded behind the cloth keeping Cecil from speaking, but he was otherwise unfazed by the rough handling. What had him bewildered was Kain's sudden change of behavior. He rarely spoke whenever he was carrying out whatever Golbez had commanded him to do, but now his words weren't making any sort of sense. Cecil's body was throbbing and aching from the past few days of physical anguish, but the pain diminished somewhat as he focused on what Kain was trying to tell him.

Fingers clinched tighter into the flesh, blunt fingernails cutting open the skin and making it bleed. Kain wanted Cecil to feel pain for what he had done. He had to make him pay with his blood, with his body, with everything the white knight possessed. It was what he desired, what he thought would be perfect retaliation for making him suffer so much. He despised this man with everything he had and more, envious thoughts and clouded disgust being his only ways of release beforehand.

At least, that was what he wanted before. Now his plans looked so distorted that his mind could no longer comprehend them or even understand why they had originated in the first place. Kain hated himself for what he was turning into and what Cecil was making him feel. The physical torture he had been inflicting on Cecil no longer felt satisfying. It left him feeling pained and twisted up on the inside. He didn't want to do this to his friend anymore, but he couldn't stop it because of the punishment Golbez would surely bestow upon him.

Conflicting forces were working against him, and he felt helplessly trapped in the middle, unable to choose between them, the decision being made for him before he even had the chance to think.

"…I hate you… How dare you mock me…?"

Hot tears slipped from blue eyes clenched shut, trailing down a face twisted in emotional agony hidden mostly by a helmet resembling a dragon's head. Kain couldn't stop himself from crying before the tears were already coming out for Cecil to glimpse at in surprise. All this pent up frustration at being unable to best Cecil, at holding in his envy tightly within himself, at allowing himself to become so desperately attracted to the very person he wanted to rise up over—it was all coming out for the paladin to see with his own eyes what kind of damage he had unknowingly caused his friend, every bit of pain Kain had suffered through symbolized by tears steadily running down his face.

Taking one hand off of Cecil, Kain removed his helmet, letting the metal item slip through his fingers and hit the stone floor. In that moment, his eyes were stormy and hurt, watery with unshed tears of despair. Cecil found it almost unbearable to look, but he could not turn away, Kain's hand holding his head in place at the chin and cheek, making him gaze at them in all their misery. He willed his eyes to look away, but he was utterly trapped, absolutely spellbound by what he saw in the eyes of his former comrade.

Sadness. Suffering. Pain. Desperation. Longing. Love. All of it was there in an overwhelming concentration, ebbing throughout the blue irises in waves—just like an oceanic whirlpool, pulling everything inside and swirling together in violent harmony. He was drowning in the eyes of his friend.

"This is the crime you've fashioned against me, Cecil…"

His fingers turned inward, taking hold of the cloth and pulling it down enough to come off Cecil's mouth. Kain stepped closer to the paladin, the space between their bodies quickly dissipating.

"Does pushing me aside give you pleasure?"

"Kain…"

"Do you benefit from causing me to suffer?"

"I… Kain, I didn't know—"

The hand gripped tighter on his face, Kain raising him up slightly so they were no longer at eyelevel. However, he had only been lifted up a little so he could still stare into the other's eyes, which were becoming dark with swirling anger and revulsion. It had appeared that Kain was starting to become more passive as he continued to question, but it was obvious that he didn't like the answer supplied.

But since he hadn't let Cecil finish his reply, the paladin still had much more to say. There were many things that he had previously been too afraid to divulge. He wanted to apologize for how much he had pushed Kain without being aware of it. He wanted to say that they could still fix this situation and escape Golbez's evil rule, hopefully putting it behind them forever. He wanted to confess his innermost feelings for the dragoon, ones he had kept hidden away from view and had almost forgotten in the more recent events of his life. The decision to keep silent about what he felt was a regretful one now that they were both caught up in this battle of wills.

Cecil didn't want their relationship to be this way. A cycle of pain that they had induced upon each other when they both wanted something more beautiful and meaningful—there was no worth in such a horrible bond.

"Of course not. How could I ever assume you would grasp something like that?"

Kain quieted for a moment, closing the eyes that had stopped shedding their anguished tears. Upon reopening them and stepping closer still, he said, "But I will no longer allow you to lay siege to me in that way."

Cecil could only stare back with vaguely bemused eyes as he was lowered back down to his original position, cold hands clasping the sides of his face. Despite the obvious chill the appendages possessed, the contact was almost gentle and caring, as if the Kain he had come to be acquainted with in the past few days was no longer existing, that the real Kain was finally coming back to him, if only a small amount communicated through touch.

"I will be the one to dominate you."

Throwing caution to the wind, Kain leaned in close, pressing his lips to Cecil's, eyes closed and unaware of how the other's orbs had become halfway shut, hazy nervousness showing in the appealing color. In this situation, his captor could very well do as he pleased with him, and being placed into such submission was frightening. But something in the other's touch said that he was completely through with causing him pain, conveying that he no longer wished to make him suffer. Kain nipped his lips carefully over the other set, repeating the act several times before pulling back. Their eyes met briefly, and Kain saw a glimmer of acceptance in the clear irises, showing how his advances were accepted.

In the next moment, it was like some primal beast from times long passed had been unleashed from inside Kain's body. His lips crashed down onto the other pair with passionate force, surprisingly meeting no resistence, but only an eagerness that reflected his own fervor. The seal of their mouths was rough and almost animalistic in nature, lips meshed together and muffled noises barely having room for escape. Kain slipped his tongue into the partially open mouth of Cecil, his fingers clutching deeper into Cecil's cheeks as their wet appendages collided. Contented sighs left Cecil's lips occasionally, the small exhales of hot air entering Kain's mouth. His precious oxygen was being breathed in by the one he had longed to have for as long as he could remember. All sense of reality was lost as they continued to plunder each other, unspoken words of ardor passing through their heated actions. Mouths backed away in order to disconnect, but their tongues stayed intertwined for a moment, not quite willing to separate from the other.

Cecil kept his eyes closed as he panted faintly, pleasant sensations slowly running over his skin. Kain's hands removed themselves from the man before him almost reluctantly, but he stayed close by, watching his friend's head drop forward slightly, still trying to regain his normal pattern of breathing. Cecil was clearly affected by that kiss, how—or even why—Kain was not aware of, but there was no doubt whatsoever that they both highly enjoyed it.

"Kain," Cecil began in a breathless voice, raising his head to look at the other while he spoke. "Are you…?"

Kain stepped forward once more, ready to silence Cecil's inquiry with another kiss. Whatever he was feeling was unexplainable, and whether or not he had actually returned to his senses was unclear to him. All there was to know was that he wanted Cecil in a most desperate way. Anger was still prevalent within, but yearning overweighed all the negative emotions he felt inside. And this momentary reprieve was more than welcome as his lips edged closer, almost touching Cecil's once more.

Suddenly, a shrill sound entered Kain's head, one he could not identify. But regardless, it was a loud kind of piercing noise that shot right through his head and ears, resulting in him falling to the ground and holding his head in extreme pain. The sound became even more deafening by the second, the sheer strength of it causing Kain to shake violently, practically on the verge of crying out were it not for his pride preventing him to do so.

"What is it, Kain? What ails you?" Cecil asked with concern in his tone.

The paladin's voice rang in his ears just as loudly, adding on to the pain he already felt splitting into his head. Every sound was intensified to an almost unbearable degree, higher and sharper than anything that had ever graced his ears. It felt like his head was on the brink of exploding into a thousand pieces.

"Silence!" Kain shouted at his stunned friend, continuing to tremble fiercely.

Unable to stand being prostrated this way in front of Cecil, the dragoon picked up his helmet with shivering fingers and staggered out of the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. He was not going to permit himself to be in a weak position in Cecil's presence, not ever. The pain shot through his limbs with every step he took, the sound of himself walking echoing in his ears until he finally stopped, slumped against a hard wall.

But, just as suddenly as it had begun, the earsplitting noises ceased, leaving Kain with shaky breaths and sweating skin. Never before he had experienced something like that, but for some reason he felt an extreme disapproval that was not his own. It felt otherworldly and extremely dark, like he was being plunged into a deep precipice with no hope of salvation. The sensation of overpowering evil, however, was frighteningly familiar, coiling around and squeezing the very life from his frame.

"Golbez…"

* * *

Edit 11/25/2013; Minor formatting edits and removal of ANs.


	2. Human Toy Part 2

Kain had been removed from the duty of torturing Cecil, Golbez deciding to do the deed himself. In fact, he was no longer even allowed to be in the paladin's presence and would not be allowed to ask for permission to see him no matter the circumstances.

But, considering what his lord could have done to him for being disobedient, the man was being incredibly lenient and merciful toward his servant. Cecil, however, was paying for his insubordination tenfold, his friend's pain filled cries preventing Kain from sleeping at night. From what the dragoon could tell, Golbez was much more proficient at inflicting pain than he was. There was a sense of familiarity and understanding when Kain had been in Cecil's room, but now there was nothing except overwhelming evil and a feeling of looming hatred.

The things Kain had seen and done to his friend, they were forever locked inside his head, unable to forget them no matter how he tried. The whole event was traumatizing in and of itself for both parties involved. To Kain, orders were orders, they were commands to be carried out immediately, and if he were to think ill of what he'd done afterwards, then it was too late to change anything.

But in this instance, things were different, if only in the tiniest bit. Cecil was still very much alive, though his impending death was just right around the corner.

He had to release Cecil before this situation went much too far to come back from. And if it had already done so, then he could at least try to save his friend while he had the opportunity to attempt it. Apologizes and pleas of forgiveness could come later, but now was the time for unquestioned action.

His room wasn't that far anyway from the holding cell, and he knew just where they were keeping Cecil's belongings. The next time they landed for anything, Kain was going to set Cecil free, and hopefully liberate himself from Golbez's control once and for all. It all sounded simple, but in all reality, he was not only risking his life by doing this, but also the life of his dear friend. Regardless of the peril involved, he wanted to atone for his wrongdoings one way or another.

.:.

Night fell quickly upon the upper world and the airships had all landed on the ground for their occupants to rest. Seizing what was most likely his last chance, Kain sneaked out of his room when the twin moons were at the highest point in the sky. Everything was calm and serene, however strange it sounded when someone like Golbez was bound to appear out of nowhere and foil Kain's attempt at redemption. The fact that his master would most likely do just that was the only reason Kain felt hesitant and fearful about what he was attempting.

Much like most of Golbez's other minions, Kain was an expendable good—useful in the beginning, but would one day have to be disposed of.

He reached the hallway leading to Cecil's room and placed himself flat against the wall, peeking around the corner briefly. As he had suspected, there were two guards placed in front of the door, one on each side. They didn't look like much of a threat when compared to himself, and with confidence in his abilities as a trained dragoon, Kain charged down the corridor with spear in hand. He tried to shun from making loud noises to avoid detection, and the two sentries were on the floor unconscious within mere moments. Carefully picking up the ring of keys off one of the guards, he unlocked the door, the wooden item creaking upon with a slight push.

Kain quickly spotting Cecil in the far right-hand corner of the room, back against the wall and his head situated on his bended knees. Closer inspection revealed the man to be asleep, and Kain shook him awake, watching silently as the head lifted and clear eyes opened. At first, Cecil appeared slightly bewildered at the other's presence in his cell at such a late hour, but his doubts were chased away by the hand of Kain offering to help him up.

"Come. It's time we take our leave."

Everything seemed to be going smoothly so far, but a strange feeling came into Kain. Somehow, this task was just all too easy to accomplish.

.:.

Kain could feel the tugging urge to return to Golbez in the recesses of his mind, no doubt put there by the man himself when he found Cecil's holding cell to be completely and utterly void of the paladin's presence. His head was pounding in sheer agony, the throbbing increasing in strength with every step away from his master. The mental hold on him had to have been very strong in the first place, but feeling this almost entirely physical pain accompanying the sudden betrayal of his malicious lord implanted a new dread in him he could not shake from his being.

Concerned eyes landed on him, and he knew them to be Cecil's. Retrieving Cecil's armor and sword had been simple as well, and getting off the airship presented no problems either. An hour had passed since they began running and there was no one after them as far as he could tell. It was almost like Golbez had wanted them to leave just he could kill them both at the same time. Escaping had been far too easy, and the farther they stepped away from the fleet, the more it seemed like they were walking into a deadly trap from which they could not hope to survive. If his head was clearer, he would be able to ponder their next move, but Kain almost couldn't take the throbbing in his temples anymore.

He needed some sort of distraction, even if it was only temporary. Kain stopped, placing a hand flat against a nearby tree, the bark feeling rough on his palm. They had barely gotten anywhere and he was already feeling tired.

Cecil stepped toward him. "Are you all right?"

Kain looked over at his friend. "Yes, I'm fine. Just spare me a moment."

Cecil nodded shortly though he appeared rather skeptical. He had yet to reattach his armor and his ravished skin stood out all too clearly in the moonlight. The scars and blotches almost seemed to shine under the ethereal glow, and Kain thought it would be better to see if Cecil was holding up well before moving on.

"Here. Let me check your wounds," Kain suggested, motioning for Cecil to sit down.

The man did so without argument, turning around and exposing his back to his friend.

Kain was in no way a disciple of the magical practices, being a warrior to the very core. Regardless of that fact, Cecil needed to be healed or at least given the time to recover. And knowing about what all had been done to his companion while in Golbez's stead could prove useful. The poor man had to have been in pain while they were running along with all the torture he had been through in the past few days. It was doubtful that any of the wounds had healed, but it was worth checking out just in case.

"You must be in pain," Kain said, getting down on his knees behind Cecil.

"Yes, but it is manageable."

Kain could have almost smiled were it not for the ache in his head. Cecil was still trying to be valiant, even though they were in great danger. As he looked over the flawed skin while trying to concentrate solely on Cecil, the agonizing pain in his head seemed to diminish, but only a little bit.

Cecil's back was left mostly unmarred, only a few minor injuries around the waist and curved markings on the shoulders from when Kain had dug his nails in the previous day. A medium sized burn mark on the paladin's right side was just beginning to heal, and Kain was quite certain that he hadn't been the one to cause it. But there was one lesion that clearly stood out to him.

A long scar stretched out from above Cecil's hip to barely an inch away from his left shoulder. The cut had been clean and precise with no ragged edges in view, straight and uninterrupted, a steady strike from an expert hand. Kain ran his fingers over it carefully, noting the slight shudder Cecil produced from his touch. The wound was still in the process of healing, but it was coming along nicely, all things considered. As far as he could tell, there was no trace of infection. Hopefully, it would be completely gone sooner or later after having a white mage tend to it accordingly.

But, unfortunately, he remembered this one clearly, being the first injury he inflicted upon Cecil in captivity.

.:.

The room was a dark and dirty area to be in, completely void of furnishings or anything pleasant for that matter. Very little light permeated through the murky shadows, a solitary candle lit from its place on the wall. Cecil was chained up before him, facing the wall and breathing slightly labored. He had tried to fight off Golbez's minions when they were attempting to bind him, but it was apparent now that he had failed in his endeavor. The muscles stood out on Cecil's skin around his shoulder blades and in his arms, physical evidence of his strenuous training in the ways of the sword.

Cecil wanted to speak out against this, but he knew that talking would do him no good here. Not when he was at the mercy of the most malevolent enemy he had ever encountered. He was without a weapon or a means of protection, and his chances of escaping were slim. And what made it worse was that his former best friend was here to deal out a punishment of his interference in their plans. His breath eventually calmed down, and he waited for whatever was going to be done to him.

Kain stayed still, but with each passing second, something began bubbling up inside of him. The urge to inflict pain became greater and greater until he finally readied his spear and slashed across the other's back with one slice, Cecil crying out and flinching while trying to get himself away in the best way he could manage. His limbs felt even more strained as he realized that there was no way of avoiding what was to come.

After that, the rest came almost too naturally for Kain, painful shouts echoing in his ears with each wound. He almost didn't feel like himself, or even the person that he had come to be after Golbez held reign over him. Instead, he felt perverse and oddly sated with what he was doing.

He liked causing the other pain, more so because of the hate that had been building up within him. A cold and twisted smile creeped onto his face before he could try to stop it, his change in expression symbolizing his inwardly wicked joy at viewing Cecil in extreme pain.

.:.

Kain suppressed a shudder from the memory. He had been so cruel and malevolent. Sadistic and evil, just like a horrible monster without restraint. Cecil remained quiet while he had wondered off into the memories of the past, not questioning the stillness that had settled over the dragoon's hands. He felt like he was at the breaking point again, regretful over what he had done to the person he had once held as a dear friend.

"Kain?"

_"You are to break him."_ He had broken instead. He had failed and become weak. He was the one who had been suffering first.

Cecil furrowed his eyebrows at the lack of response. "What is it?" The man behind him still did not voice a reply.

_"Leave him without hope, Kain."_ Hope had been destroyed, but not for Cecil. Kain had lost his hope in place of Cecil. The hope to be forgiven, the hope to be accepted, the hope to be loved—all of it was barely hanging on by a thin thread and ready to snap in half at any given moment.

"Answer me, Kain."

Kain's frame began shaking slightly. The hand nearest to one of Cecil's shoulder gripped into the flesh tensely with trembling fingers, like it was all he had left in the world to hold on to. And for all intents and purposes, it really was the only thing. The memories weren't leaving him like he wanted them to. They only grew and became more unbearable as time passed on, although they were away from the place of torture and evil intentions. Anguished cries and dark orders were implanted in his brain, each one louder or with increasing wickedness than the last. Their home was within Kain now, and they weren't planning on letting him have peace any time soon.

"Cecil…" the dragoon's voice finally came out, whispered and fragile.

The paladin remained silent, even as a pair of arms circled around his own and clenched hands pushed into his chest, effectively pulling him closer to the one behind him. Cecil couldn't tell if Kain was doing this to offer him comfort or if the dragoon was asking for reassurance about what he'd done. A cheek came in contact with the top of his shoulder and he could feel shuddering breaths brush against his skin and pass through his hair. Kain had closed his eyes, but he could once more feel Cecil's gaze upon him, had practically felt Cecil turn his head to look at him.

Kain was beginning to get weaker and weaker by the day, the nightmares plaguing him relentlessly and tearing gaping holes into his once unshakable pride. And he suspected that he was never going to recover from it. Years could go by and he would still be living with the regret until the day he died.

He reached up with one hand, cupping his comrade's jawbone and lifting his head off Cecil's shoulder. They were so close to connecting, but he wavered just as Cecil's lips were only a breath away. The issue wasn't that he didn't want to kiss Cecil again. He certainly had the compulsive need to do so and he felt no resistance at his open advance from Cecil. He was expecting some sort of unwillingness to comply, and he would have stopped if that was the case, but there was nothing except blatant approval and acceptance. Unwillingly, Kain pulled himself completely away from Cecil, restraining from cursing himself because of his decision and standing up straight.

Cecil opened his eyes slowly, looking up at Kain with a wondering expression.

"You should suit up now," Kain said. "It would be best if we moved out quickly."

During the reprieve, the pain in his head nearly felt like it had disappeared, but it was back once more and pounding slightly harder. Kain was doing his best to resist temptation and stay with Cecil, however difficult it was to not just abandon the man and return to Golbez.

.:.

Only a few minutes had passed before they were walking once more, crossing a great distance within another hour. Based on the forest terrain and the variety of monsters lurking about, Kain could guess that they were not that far from the kingdom of Troia, which was good knowledge to have at this point. Any town would do in this situation since Cecil still needed to be healed. Kain could tell that the other was beginning to tire by listening to the labored breaths and the slightly unsteady footsteps hitting the ground.

For some reason, the throbbing had stopped completely, and Kain could only assume that Golbez had quit trying for now. But he was anticipating its return every minute that passed by. The sky darkened above them, and it soon began to rain down, the heavy droplets of water pelting their armor and skin.

Kain turned around, stopping in front of his drained friend. "We'll rest here."

"No, I…can keep…moving," Cecil replied whilst trying to regulate his breathing.

The dragoon's eyebrows furrowed, though Cecil did not see it because of the helmet. "Cecil—"

"You have greatly disappointed me, Kain."

Regrettably, Kain was able to recognize that deep voice from anywhere.

The dark armored man loomed menacingly over them, all hope seeming to be lost. Kain was almost certain that Golbez was here for Cecil more than for punishing him. Everything traced back to Cecil, from the paladin interfering with their plans to Kain setting him free. The feeling of deadly intent was nearly palpable and could clearly be felt in the air around them, almost as if a snake was slowly coiling itself around their bodies and preparing to choke the very life from them.

"Perhaps it was a mistake, letting you be within close proximity of your old friend."

Cecil was on guard more than usual, hand clasped tightly on the hilt of his holy blade, ready to strike at any given moment. He wasn't sure if he could take Golbez down on his own, but having Kain with him gave them a slightly better chance of victory. Even so, he could not miss the distain in his enemy's tone when he spoke, the resulting echo within the other's armor making his voice seem deeper and more malevolent.

"No matter. I'll rectify my folly by disposing of you as I should have done earlier."

Golbez's hand lit up with an eerie purple glow, raising up his arm and pointing it in the direction of Cecil. Kain moved quickly, knowing there was very little time before the dark energy would be shot at Cecil. After their foe released a blast meant to kill, a bright light flashed, and Cecil couldn't see for a moment. A thud reached his ears next, and when he opened his eyes, it took all he had to not make a sound at what he saw.

Kain had protected him, taking the full blunt of the blast. The man was on his knees before him, clutching his stomach in obvious pain. A dark fluid that Cecil could rightfully assume was blood was flowing and pooling to the ground. It was almost too dark to see the full extent of the injury clearly due to the hazy rain, but the fact that Cecil could see a portion of Kain's armor was missing meant a hole had been blasted clear through his abdomen.

"Hmph. His purpose was served anyway. Just one less vermin to deal with."

Cecil was visibly shaking with restrained fury. He unsheathed his blade quickly and ran toward Golbez in order to retaliate over what the man had done to Kain, but his foe disappeared, leaving nothing by air behind.

"I'll leave you breathing this time, but mark my words, Cecil. You will not be so fortunate next time."

Cecil panted for a moment, gazing at where Golbez had once been. He was angry at not being able to strike him, but another thud sounding behind him made him forget about his resentment. He rushed over to Kain, who was laying flat on his back, and started inspecting the injury.

"Oh, gods…" Cecil whispered.

The hole was too large and Kain was losing blood quickly. He was surely going to die if he wasn't brought to a white mage promptly. He moved in close and attempted to pick up the dragoon, but ceased when the other hissed sharply, one arm still under Kain's back to try again.

Kain flinched in pain. "N-No. Leave me be."

"But, Kain! Your wound is too severe! You'll die if I abandon you!"

Kain couldn't really tell because of the rain, but it almost looked like Cecil was crying. It was only when he saw the white knight's shoulders shaking slightly in his blurred vision did he truly realize that his companion was indeed producing tears. The dragoon gave his friend a genuine smile, raising his hand up to cup his friend's wet face with a bloodied hand. The appendage felt dreadfully cold against Cecil's cheek, not that his skin felt any less chilled.

His whole body became like frigid ice the moment Kain was struck down, seeping into his bones along with the icy rainwater pouring down like small unforgiving needles.

"Do not shed tears for me. I'm not worth such pity."

"…Why do you utter such slander?" Cecil asked weakly, his trembling increasing with Kain's touch.

Blood was coming in contact with his armor, the thick red liquid staining the once clean and shimmering metal. But Cecil couldn't find it in him to care about it in the least. His form was drenched in rainwater, mixing with the blood on his face and plastering his white hair to his skin. His childhood friend was dying in his arms and his heart was being broken into a thousand unrecognizable pieces, shattering in the winds of his profound misery. How he could ever recover from such pain was beyond him.

Kain saw Cecil's expression soften suddenly, though tears were still running down his face. Deep admiration showed through in the eyes of the one above him, shining brightly amongst watery irises.

The paladin took a deep breath. "Kain… I—"

Fear flashed into Kain's hidden eyes. "No, don't say it!" he practically shouted, desperation leaking into his voice. "I don't want to hear it!"

Despite the intense pain, Kain turned over to his side, willing his mind to not pay attention to what Cecil was about to reveal. His hands clenched at where his ears were underneath his helmet in order to block out the sounds around him. He was severely undeserving of such tender affection. After betraying his comrades and joining the enemy, fighting against them, and torturing his best friend, he thought he didn't warrant Cecil's love, wasn't worthy enough to think that he could ever have it.

"Please," the dragoon said, on the verge of begging. "Don't say it…"

Kain couldn't bear the open knowledge of Cecil loving him, though he was quite sure about how the other felt. Having it said out loud to him, however, was something he was unwilling to hear. Kain believing strongly that Cecil loved him was much better than having it confirmed in words. He didn't want to leave Cecil behind knowing that the white knight had verified his love beforehand. That would only add on to the pain he was now feeling.

Cecil turned his friend over, prying the icy hands from the sides of Kain's head and held them in his own. He placed one against his cheek and kept the appendage there despite how cold it felt on his skin. He then smiled at Kain, the curving up of his lips entirely natural and pure.

"I love you, Kain Highwind."

Kain could feel his eyes watering up. Once more, he was feeling weak because of Cecil and unbelievably sad as well. This man was always making him throw away his hard-earned pride and become overly emotional. He never let up, and even though the white knight was just telling him the truth, Kain felt a stinging pain in his heart.

"My only regret is that it took so long to tell you."

A small sob escaped from the dragoon. Despite his wishes, Cecil had defied him, making him feel even worse than he already did. The suffering never ceased, even when he was on the edge of death.

"You-You fool… How…" More sobs fell from his lips. "How c-could you? You s-should hate m-me…"

Kain continued to cry all the while gazing up at his companion. He didn't understand why, no matter how many times he turned it over in his head. After all he had done, all the things he had said, all the betrayal and mistrust and hatred—loving someone like him seemed downright impossible and utterly inconceivable. Cecil continued to smile almost hopelessly, as if the answer had been apparent all along.

"Because I forgive you."

He had already promised his forgiveness the moment Kain offered him his hand, a gesture pledging freedom.

Cecil was always the more pure hearted of the two of them, willing to absolve with an almost unnatural ease. Not always in the case of his enemies, but for the people he held close to his heart. He was more than prepared to forgive Kain for everything he had done if it meant that his friend would have some peace of mind.

Even if that very person, one who had become a precious individual to him and would have gladly exchanged his life for without hesitation, was now dying in his arms. It was no longer a secret hidden away. Cecil loved Kain with all his heart, but for some reason, it was not allowed to be.

Kain coughed painfully, blood coming out of his mouth as he asked, "Will you stay with me?"

Cecil put on a sad smile, trying his best not to start crying again, if only to offer Kain a few moments of strength. "Of course, my friend."

.:.

The rain continued to pound harshly down long after Kain had stopped breathing. The night was an unforgiving one, even though the ethereal sky with its two moons had viewed the pain and suffering, remaining impassive in the face of heartache. Fate was almost too cruel in its harsh ways, and it was as if forces had been working against them from the very start. And if it wasn't some otherworldly influence that was keeping them apart, then it was the hesitation and fear within themselves that was seperating them.

When the sun soon rose in the early morning hours, Cecil prepared a grave for his friend and promptly buried the dead body, expression clear of any emotion. It was only after the dirt had been patted down flat did he start crying once more. His hands—along with the white and blue armor defining his validity as a paladin—were sullied with the brown colored soil and dried blood, but his soiled outfit didn't matter at all in that moment in time.

In the past hours of bleak and dreary darkness, this forest had become a resting place for the love they could not share, as well as being the tomb of the mighty dragoon once known as Kain Highwind.

* * *

Edit 11/25/2013; Minor formatting edits and AN removals.


End file.
